12 replies to this topic

[Vaielab]

So I wish to have the point of view of other programmer.
I had 3 serious relation in my life.

The first one is getting married with some guy... some 67years old guy... that spend 15years in jail (she's something like 22 right now) and they are trying for kids

The second one have a major crush on a guy who came to his high school in canada (montreal) with a gun and shoot everyone than kill himself. And that crush started after that event.

And my third relation was with a 24years old virgin... 100% virgin.


So my question, is every programmer have really weird relationship or I'm the one with a problem?

[WingedPanther]

Actually, I think everyone has really weird relationships. Being a programmer just makes you a little weirder for the other person.

In all seriousness, my first girl-friend was 17 and had run away from home (from Las Vegas to Illinois), and couldn't feel content unless she was dating someone. My wife is probably the most normal dating relationship I've had. Then again, maybe that's why she's my wife. She hates chick-flicks, loves sci-fi and anime, and knows more about comics than I do. Completely normal :)

[ZekeDragon]

I've had two serious relationships. The first one was with an Italian girl from New York. She was pretty much crazy, and the relationship ended on a pretty bad note, but ultimately I'd still talk to her.

The last one I had (two and a half years ago now) wasn't crazy, she was manipulative. Extremely intelligent, it's what attracted me to her, but she used that intelligence to manipulate our relationship in a lot of ways. In the end, I wound up with absolutely no possessions to my name, short the clothes on my back, and I had to get a new home in Washington state. Then I joined CodeCall!

Anyway, yeah, my experience has been that relationships are overall negative unless you're very fortunate. I'm far too committed of a man to take the risk of trying again, since if I find myself in another painful/detrimental relationship I'll stick with it again anyway. I know myself well enough to know to protect myself, so I no longer make any attempt to find 'love', and what's more, actively reject anyone elses attempt with me. Then again, I've been pretty badly burned so that's just a personal issue. :)

Simply put, everyone's had a wide array of different experiences with relationships. You could get the "normal" relationship, or you could end up in a very abnormal one. Dependent on what you want, either can be good or bad. A "Weird" relationship is neither inherently good nor bad, all it is, is notable.

[RhetoricalRuvim]

I don't think everyone has weird relationships.

The world does have a variety of people.

[ewomack]

A few... or many... weird relationships seem inevitable in a world filled with willful people. Everyone wants the world to be as they want it to be. Likewise, many people want their partners to be just what they want them to be. Most of this comes from dating based purely on physical attraction, fantasy and idealism. You should have physical attraction for the person you date, of course, but that shouldn't be all. The old adage should still apply: if you can't be friends, you probably shouldn't be lovers.

[DarkLordofthePenguins]

Never had a relationship. Don't really want one. I'm a 22-year-old virgin who hasn't had a single a date, and it doesn't bother me. I've gotten my share of adulation from females (mostly due to my looks) so I could probably get a girlfriend if I wanted one, but currently I'm too busy obsessing over computers to care about things like that. It feels good to be a geek. :)

But who knows? Maybe someday, my priorities will change...

[RhetoricalRuvim]

I never had any relationships either; I'm still in high school, so in any case it's too early.

[DarkLordofthePenguins]

I don't think that's too early, but it depends on exactly how old you are. I believe that 15 is about the age where someone is emotionally mature enough to develop a romantic connection. Before that it's just puppy love.

[RhetoricalRuvim]

Old enough to be 16; not the best time for getting married, though, so why should it be the best time to have relationships?

[NinjaTool]

That's why us Coders should stick together.

[RhetoricalRuvim]

It's "we Coders." But still applies.

[agnl666]

I am currently in a relationship right now and have been for nearly four years. It is going well and I feel fortunate to say that I do not think it is any more abnormal than the regular.

One thing I am not content with is that I frequently listen about her hobbies, though when code is brought up, the conversation halts. This occurs even on a very high level. This bothers me, though it not the end of the world and I try not to let it bother me.

I wish everyone the best on there choice of relationship (or not) and I agree. Programmers should stick together.