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Rules for being in the military


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17 replies to this topic

#1 Parabola

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Posted 13 August 2009 - 07:06 AM

I had to post this, being ex-Army myself

Marine Corps Rules:


1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.
5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you
meet.
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start
with a '4.'
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life
is expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral &
diagonal preferred.)
9. Use cover and concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.

12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or
tactics. They will only remember who lived.
13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention
to shoot.

Navy SEALS Rules:


1. Look very cool in sunglasses.
2. Kill every living thing within view.
3.. Adjust speedo.
4. Check hair in mirror.

US Army Rangers Rules:


1. Walk 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from 'Higher' to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.

US Army Rules:


1. Curse bitterly when receiving operational order.
2. Make sure there is extra ammo and extra coffee.
3. Curse bitterly.
4. Curse bitterly.
5. Do not listen to 2nd LTs; it can get you killed.

US Air Force Rules:


1. Have a cocktail.
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
3. See what's on HBO.
4. Ask 'What is a gunfight?'
5. Request more funding from Congress with a 'killer' Power Point
presentation.
6. Wine & dine ''key' Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry
executives.
7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.
8. Declare the assets 'strategic' and never deploy them operationally.
9. Hurry to make 13:45 tee-time.
10. Make sure the base is as far as possible from the conflict but close
enough to have tax exemption.

US Navy Rules:


1. Go to Sea.
2. Drink Coffee.
3. Deploy Marines
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Programming would be so much easier without all the users.

#2 amrosama

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Posted 13 August 2009 - 07:19 AM

US Army Rangers Rules:


1. Walk 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from 'Higher' to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.

sounds like egyptian army

nice read, its mandatory here in Egypt to join the army for 6-9 months after finishing college and im getting medical check next October, can you tell me how to suck and make them turn me down?
btw: i got a flat-foot
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yo homie i heard you like one-line codes so i put a one line code that evals a decrypted one line code that prints "i love one line codes"
eval(base64_decode("cHJpbnQgJ2kgbG92ZSBvbmUtbGluZSBjb2Rlcyc7"));
www.amrosama.com | the unholy methods of javascript

#3 Parabola

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Posted 13 August 2009 - 07:21 AM

sounds like egyptian army

nice read, its mandatory here in Egypt to join the army for 6-9 months after finishing college and im getting medical check next October, can you tell me how to suck and make them turn me down?
btw: i got a flat-foot


Lol good luck with that. I got out because I got injured in the line of duty. Now, I can't keep my shoulders in the socket.
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Programmer (n): An organism that can turn caffeine into code.
Programming would be so much easier without all the users.

#4 amrosama

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Posted 13 August 2009 - 07:22 AM

ouch, sorry for that.
i bet you miss the army
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yo homie i heard you like one-line codes so i put a one line code that evals a decrypted one line code that prints "i love one line codes"
eval(base64_decode("cHJpbnQgJ2kgbG92ZSBvbmUtbGluZSBjb2Rlcyc7"));
www.amrosama.com | the unholy methods of javascript

#5 Parabola

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Posted 13 August 2009 - 07:24 AM

Sometimes yes. I do miss being out in the field
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Programmer (n): An organism that can turn caffeine into code.
Programming would be so much easier without all the users.

#6 BlaineSch

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Posted 13 August 2009 - 08:07 AM

Hahaha this one made me laugh:

7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life
is expensive.


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#7 jameslcs

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Posted 13 August 2009 - 12:19 PM

that's true, better save then sorry.

7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life
is expensive.

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#8 Guest_Jordan_*

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Posted 13 August 2009 - 03:06 PM

Laughed through the whole thing!
How did you get injured?
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#9 Parabola

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Posted 13 August 2009 - 04:39 PM

lets just say the humvee was on its side.... (and no, i wasnt driving..)
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Programmer (n): An organism that can turn caffeine into code.
Programming would be so much easier without all the users.

#10 relapse

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Posted 14 August 2009 - 04:47 PM

hahahhahahaha, that is some funny ****. So those Iraqi ** blew up your humvee huh? ******* ****s. Can you still walk? Does it piss you off?
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#11 Parabola

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Posted 15 August 2009 - 10:57 AM

lol of course i can walk. just my shoulders got messed up
and yea, when i wake up in the morning in pain, yea im pissed
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Programmer (n): An organism that can turn caffeine into code.
Programming would be so much easier without all the users.

#12 amrosama

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Posted 17 August 2009 - 10:07 AM

if you want a man behind enemy lines to help you get revenge, its me :D
  • 0
yo homie i heard you like one-line codes so i put a one line code that evals a decrypted one line code that prints "i love one line codes"
eval(base64_decode("cHJpbnQgJ2kgbG92ZSBvbmUtbGluZSBjb2Rlcyc7"));
www.amrosama.com | the unholy methods of javascript




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