Programming Jokes

[WingedPanther]

That was a great one Shibby!

[G_Morgan]

A software verifier read in the Bible that God protects all fools and decided to test it empirically. He jumped out of the window and broke a leg. There he lies, writhing in pain, and happily thinks: "I never really considered myself a fool, but I never knew I was THAT clever!"

[Acheron]

I stole these from a friend

If General Motors had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
accept this.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the
side of the road, close all of th
before you could continue.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and
refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine
5. Apple would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as
easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a singl
Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.
7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until
you simultaneously lifted the
9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again
because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
11. New seats would require everyone to have the same butt size.
12. We'd all have to switch to Microsoft Gas.
13. The U.S. government would get subsidies from an automaker
14. You would be constantly pressur
15. You could have only one person in the car at a time, unless you bought Car 95 or CarNT
you would have to buy more seats.
16. People would get excited about the new features of Microsoft cars, forgetting that the same
features had been available from other carmakers for years.

[Xav]

Quite funny, but unfortunately I'm more in favour of dropping the sarcasm bombs on Apple, not Microsoft.

[John]

If General Motors had developed technology like Microsoft

You mean technology like Microsoft Sync? uh oh...

You guys hear about the programmer who died in the shower? The instructions on his shampoo bottle said lather, rinse, repeat.

[Xav]

I don't get it ?!

[John]

He got stuck in an infinite loop...

[G_Morgan]

I don't get it ?!

Start:
   Lather();
   Rinse();
   GOTO Start;

[Xav]

OHHHHH! HA HA HA! I so, like, get it now!

[John]

If someone can spot a problem with my joke, I will award them +50 reputation points.