Things about women and Men

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Men:
The men who try to do something and fail are infinitely better than those who try to do nothing and succeed.

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.

Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I will see a man who can't get his pants off!

Don't kick a man when he's down unless you're certain he won't get up.

Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead.

Man who sneezes without tissues takes matters into his own hands.

Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie.

Diplomat: A man who can convince his wife she would look stout in a fur coat.

If you never want to see a man again, say, "I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have children." -- they leave skid marks. This works whether a man or woman says it.

My wife ran off with my best friend last week. Man, I miss him!

Whenever you meet a man who would make a good husband, you will usually find that he is.

There are easier things in life than finding a good man. Nailing Jell-o to a tree for instance.


Women:

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Men know that if a woman had to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she would probably save the infant's life, without even considering whether there were men on base.

Women should have labels on their foreheads saying, "Danger: Government Health Warning: Women can be dangerous to your brains, current account, confidence, razor blades and good standing among your friends."

On one issue at least, men and women agree; they both distrust women.

It is silly for a woman to go to a male gynecologist. It is like going to an auto mechanic who has never even owned his own car.

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.

I want a guy that's sensitive and caring, and that loves cats. Unfortunately, most guys like that are gay