DarkLordoftheMonkeys

Yes, that's what I learned when I tried to teach myself Access this morning, the main reason being that I wanted a cheap way to learn SQL Server. It has very limited functionality: It does not have any of the data types that are found in SQL or SQL Server, nor does it have any datetime, string, or mathematical functions. It pretty much restricts you to doing everything with a mouse, and it's nearly impossible to get into a mode where I can type SQL commands.

The SQL functionality ...

Check out this link.

This bit¢h uses "geek", "nerd", and "dork" to mean the same thing. Why do people do this to us???

Geek: Someone with a passion for technology

Nerd: Someone with a passion for academic learning

Dork: Someone who is generally awkward

How would she like it if I directed her to a website called "Asian Blogs" (because she appears to be Asian) and it had a bunch of clips ...

I have recently found a new fixation: MS-DOS games. I downloaded an MS-DOS emulator called DOSBox a few days ago, and I love it. It doesn't have the full DOS command set, but it's enough to run batch files and .COM and .EXE executables. I found a cornucopia of free DOS games here.

Right now I'm playing Caverns of Kroz. It's an ASCII game produced by Apogee Software in the late 1980s, which has since been released as freeware. It involves going through a dungeon looking for gems ...

As you probably know by now, I am a Micro$oft hater. I hate their business practices, their loathing for healthy competition, and their software, with the exception of the command line, Minesweeper, and Solitaire. Needless to say, it irks me when people say that Micro$oft was the "pioneer" and we couldn't have done without them. Here are a few debunkings I've done, some of them researched, others kind of obvious:

Myth #1: Microsoft made the first microcomputer operating ...

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There are times in my life when I just have a flood of ideas. I've had one over the last few days. It feels like I've just got this rush of programmer hormones coursing through my body, and I feel inspired to code, and learn and read about technology, during every waking hour. Here is some of what I've been doing.

This script was inspired by a question I saw on unix.com. It deletes lines of a certain range of character lengths from a file, and gives the user the option of writing ...